Movie review: Thappad

If I have to sum up the movie in one line, its this line from this review : 'Thappad' is not just a film aimlessly ranting about borderline domestic violence; it brings to light the years of conditioning that a woman is subjected to by her own family and the society that she lives in.

The story of the movie is very simple. It starts with showing the life of a woman, Ammu (Tapsee Pannu) who is a housewife, married to a loving husband and living with her mom-in-law. She seems to have a comfortable and contented life. Then one day at a party, when her husband is angry and drunk, he slaps here. It makes her think, and she decides to end her marriage. She faces the typical response you would expect to such a step, from her husband, from her in-laws, her mother, her brother and even her lawyer. Only her father and brother's girlfriend understand her initially. That it was not 'just a slap'. And it is not the right (even if convenient) way to forget it and move on. She has the right to a life of respect. And if the marriage is not giving her that, she is right to ask for a divorce. The rest of the movie shows her journey to this end.

The movie is very well made. All the actors, main and character, the director, the writer and everyone else involved has done a great job. But my review will not be about the movie. It will be about the topic the movie raises. And how it treats the topic, making us think and ask ourselves some very hard and tough questions. About our existing beliefs, of what is ok and what isn't.


When I first heard about the theme of the movie - the journey of a woman who wants to divorce her husband because he slapped her, once - my initial reaction was the same as I think the movie would have intended. What? I've never heard that before. Is something like that ground enough for a divorce?? Isn't that taking it too far???

But as I thought more about it, I realised, that the answer is No. It wasn't taking it too far. How can we say that it's ok to stay in a marriage after you have been hit? And that's when I realised, that our years of social conditioning, of seeing what is acceptable and what is not has made us all stop questioning if those are right or not. We don't even stop to take a moment and think about what we are thinking. If we did, we would realise that a lot of what we think is acceptable, may not be. Anymore.

And I went through the same journey again while watching the movie. What happened was wrong, the husband cannot and should not have slapped the wife. But he did. And now what should the woman do? Accept it, forget it and move on? As everyone in the movie suggests? But she doesn't want to live this life. Then what? She faces the same question and judgement from everyone around her. Even women. Even her mother. Isn't she taking it too far? But the truth is, she isn't. All she wants in life is respect. She says in the movie, since I was a child, 'All I ever wanted was happiness and respect, and I still want it'. Is that too much to expect for, for a woman, from her marriage?

All of us are guilty of this viewpoint. It is because of our years of conditioning, that we don't realise when something is so wrong, right in front of us. Chalta hai. No big deal. And so on. And that is where things need to change. Its not ok. As Ammu says in the movie, 'Bas ek thappad. lekin woh maar nahi sakta'. Yes, its just one slap, but he cannot do that. Such a powerful line, it makes us all come out of our slumber. Its not right, it cannot be acceptable. And it should not be.


I just was blown away by how the movie tackled such a sensitive topic. Through its handling of the story, the dialogues and the acting. For one, the husband is not shown to be a total asshole. If he was, the decision to divorce him would have been easy. And clear. But he wasn't. He was cute and nice most of the times. And he did love his wife. He was always respectful of her parents and family, especially given the different financial status. And he asked her to come back many times too. He had a blind spot though. He was a victim of his years of conditioning. Of the views of our society and his family. Where such things do happen. And it wasn't a big thing. You could see it in his reaction too. He was mouthing dialogues he would have heard many times before. He was not apologising, but giving excuses for his actions. Playing the male ego, where certain things are acceptable. He just kept putting himself before her, because that was what he had always seen.

And this characterisation made the question of what was the right thing to do even more hard to answer. If he was a serial wife beater, it was a clear decision. But he wasn't. He was not a bad human being either. He made a mistake, once. Should he pay for it so much? And that's how the movie shifted from being about domestic violence to a question of respect. He did what he did because he thought he could. And that is where the problem lies. The fact that he did not apologise for it till very late is also testimony to the fact, that his thinking was at fault, even if unintentional. He finally realises it when his boss says (something to this effect), 'I understand you were angry. With me and the company. But you would not have slapped any of us. You slapped your wife. Because you thought you could. And that was wrong.' And that is the problem. He thought he could, because he has seen it around. But that's not right. Or acceptable. At least anymore.

The father's character was quite an anti-dote to this. At least somewhat. He does not take a stand on the slap but it it does get him thinking. And he supports Ammu in what she thinks is the right thing to do, when she decides. Without him, for sure it would have been tougher for her to take the step. I also liked the fact that he is also shown to be flawed. A friend of mine commented, 'the only good man in the movie was the dead one 😝'. I think it brought the fact to the surface, that none of us are immune to our social conditioning. Just some are more than the others. But we all have blind spots.

The director deserves credit also for not making Tapsee the typical bollywood 'heroine' of this movie (I think Article 15 made by the same director was guilty of that still). She is shown just like a normal person, with her thoughts, her doubts, her convictions and actions, just like a normal person would have. It helped that the movie did not have any melodrama around this whole topic. No long speeches. No endless crying. No victimising. Just the eyes and silences being used to share her emotions and her confusion. Ammu speaks up, only once, in the end. At the pooja for her unborn child, at her husband's home. And that scene is bound to bring tears to your eyes. She appreciates the love her in-laws had given her. But that was not for her, it was for their son's wife. When she was down and hurt, no one came forward for her or understood her. Her dialogue, 'I will never forgive you for that' says volumes. About our society. Where women are sometimes forgotten for who they are. Who just stand for their relationship. That scene was totally unexpected, and the highlight of the movie.

There was another dialogue which I found quite hard-hitting. And its a mirror to our Indian legal system. She says to her lawyer, 'So all my other options, other than going back to him and accepting it all, are messy...'. Getting a divorce is made so difficult, that grounds such as loss of respect (which is what the thappad was) are not even allowed. The courts only accept much more 'serious' and 'acceptable' grounds like adultery and domestic violence for divorce. And anything else is acceptable in a marriage. Given the situation, the only way Ammu could have got the divorce was to allege either adultery or domestic violence. Otherwise she could not have got a divorce. I respect her stance, of refusing to go messy, even though her lawyer advised it. And the husband did go down this route. She chose to follow her mind but with grace and dignity. Something which would be so tough to do in such a situation, even if it was the right thing to do. This is a sad state of affairs, where you are forced to demean your marriage with such allegations to get an out. Where what actually happened and is the real cause cannot be used in court. All she wanted was respect. Nothing else. And that is not reason enough to get a divorce, according to our laws. How sad is that?


The movie just flows, very slowly, without you realising that you are facing these hard questions, which are very difficult ones to answer. The movie was meant to spark a debate. Which it will. At least among the ones who see the movie. Most may chose not to though, and that was expected too. Since this movie will not align with their value system. As it is against our 'culture', our 'values'. I can already hear people saying - Marriage is very important in Indian culture, and the director is going against it by propagating divorce. But he isn't. He is just propagating respect, an option to choose respect. For each person in the marriage. How can that be wrong? And if divorce is the only way to get that, then maybe that is the way to go. But this will not go down well with a whole section of our society. Where marriage comes above everything. Even respect. And more often, its the woman who has to compromise. It is what it is. But it has to change. It will be long before things really change. Asking questions is just the start of it...